Though I have set my alarm clock for 6:30am, I was already awake at 6am.
I didn't really try to get back to sleep. I tried to pray when I was turning in bed. I prayed Him to fill my heart. But the thought about different things of work kept jumping out from my head, and I really couldn't concentrate to pray.
Then suddenly, I got this from God, that I need to go to Him, instead of asking Him to come to me. That I really need to seek His heart, for all the things that I do, including the smallest thing that is now bothering me at work.
Suddenly I understand. While I was poundering, half asleep, if I should further consult my fellow colleagues on work related subject, I suddenly saw that I have never thought about consulting God on what He thinks I should do. No, I have rarely done so in the past, especially in the past few months, especially at work.
Suddenly I understand, what Sui shared before: even the decision of what to wear everyday, he would ask God about it.
No No No. It's not about "controling" of "fearing" that God wouldn't be pleased with a particular set of clothes. It's about REALLY living in Him and with Him, in every single moment in our life.
It's something new to me again. And I need to remember it. And remember to do it.
Lord, thanks for such good gift to start the day.
My Lord,
Yesterday, I wanted to stay home today to spend time with you. Thanks so much for your gift this morning, so I can learn how to live in you, not only when I'm alone with you but also when I'm back into people, back into "normal life."
Lord, I know I still need to learn to live this way. Please help me and give me strength. Please have Holy Spirit fill my heart. Please soften my heart and open my ears so that when You do speak to me, I turn to you, and that I seek your heart actively, in whatever thing I do.
Lord, thank you. Thank you for teaching me something new. Thank you to let me live closer to you. Yes, closer and closer.
Love,
Grace.
In name of Jesus Christ I pray, AMEN.
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