Four of us went to church

Today, the four of us went to church together.

It's the first time I went to church in 2 months time. We were a bit late. By the time we arrived, worship was more than half way through already and we were just there for the last 3 songs.

But God was so kind to me (as always). As soon as I settled down and concentrated on the worship, I felt very touched in the spirit. Tears started streaming down my face and for the first time in many months I prayed in tongues again, to praise and worship our Lord. Those were not the very touchy or emotional worship songs. And my tears did not fall because of sadness or joy. I just felt overwhelmed in the spirit. I felt so moved to worship our Lord. I felt so close to Him in the spirit. It seemed that He just reassured me that I have been staying close to Him all along in the past few weeks though we weren't able to attend Sunday service. And once we were back, He in me, resonated in great joy.

I am just so thankful and it's so good to be back, to be able to worship our Lord.

And it's good to be back to see other brothers and sisters as well. Though we were back only briefly (we were late and we left early), we still received lots of blessings and love from brothers and sisters around us. And they were so passionate with the 2 kids and taking them away for most of the time, giving me and Wesley the opportunity to truly immerse ourselves and enjoyed the worship. Hope that we could be back 'full time' very soon.

Calling of Levi - Luke 5:27-32

Levi was a tax collector. He was seen as 'the bad guy' by his fellow countrymen as he worked for the Rome government and he made his living by collecting extra money from people.

Though knowing all this, in the past I just thought the Pharisees and teachers of the law too narrow minded and unforgiving to challenge Jesus' act to make friend and dine with such group of people.

But when I try to go deeper than that this time, I try to imagine seeing Jesus to dine with a group of people that I most abhor: persons who sexually abuse children, parents who rent out their own children to others for sex, burglars who rob and hurt elderly people... and the most important thing is that there are not yet converted, that they are not necessarily feel sorry for what they do! (I believe that among the many guests that Levi had invited, not all of them repented at the time.)

By substituting the type of people Jesus dined with, I started to see why it was so difficult for the 'establishment' to accept what Jesus did. I could see how much love it required for Jesus to dine with them, to love them, for only with much love could he see beneath their skin the beauty and godly image that was deep, deep down in their soul. For only with great love could Jesus see through the many sins that were burying and tying down and killing the goodness within them, and within us.

And when there was not enough love, I would only see what the Pharisees and the teachers did see, i.e. what I normally see every day, i.e. how disgusting these people are and what horrible things they do - not did, but still doing! It takes great love to see through all these and to see through to the persons that they can be - the persons as God has created, the persons as Jesus see, the persons that they, and we, can be.

Healing the Leprosy & Paralytic - Luke 5:12-26

Then it was the story of Jesus healing the man with leprosy. Many have pointed out before how loving an act Jesus has done, by not only healing him but in fact reaching out and touching the man. Indeed this is something we can do even today: we may have been giving out small changes to the beggar at the street corner every day, but have we ever reached out to talk to him or to give him a pat on the back? I remember reading from Mother Teresa that it's LOVE that all these people needed most. And I am guilty on this one, along the many other things.

Another thing I noted from v14 is that Jesus told the man not to tell others about his healing him. But then in v15, "Yet the news about him spread all the more, so that crowds of people came to hear him and to be healed of their sicknesses." It wasn't stated in Bible but it is quite obvious that the leprosy man did tell others about it; frankly, how could he not to? It's such great, great news! If it were me I would tell every body I meet, not only just those that I know! Though Jesus has told him not to tell, to give more allowance to the leprosy man, I would just imagine Jesus didn't tell him WHY he shouldn't tell and so he didn't follow Jesus' order, thinking Jesus just trying to be modest.

Next is the story of healing the paralytic, who was hoisted down from the roof by his friends. When reading this passage in the past, I just simply put on Jesus' view point: why would you the Pharisees and teachers wonder in your hearts for Jesus' authority to forgive sins? Of course he has the authority! He is Jesus the Christ!

But when I read this passage again this time, trying to put myself into their shoes, I could see their reaction was only normal and reasonable. Truly, there were only 2 alternatives: either the person saying this blasphemy, or he truly had the authority to forgive sin, i.e. having the authority of God! To them, Jesus was just 'another person' and they didn't know he was the Christ. So it made sense to them to blame Jesus for blasphemy.

I wonder if I was born at that time as a Jew, whether I would be able to accept Jesus Christ to my life. I suspect that I wouldn't. Imagine Jesus was no longer the 'figure' in Bible that has been spoken about so much and be remembered in Christmas and Easter every year. Imagine Jesus was just like a "John Chan" or "Mary Lee" growing up next door, living in another housing estate, going to the same primary and secondary school as I did. How would I, how could I, believe that he's the savior of the world? Especially with my pride and ego, there's only a slim chance I could believe that indeed he HAS the authority to forgive sin. Indeed, He is God.

I guess another very good reminder from "The Jesus I Never Knew" was that actually I am not that much different from a Pharisee. When I used to identify with Jesus when I was reading the Gospels in the past, I am now more alert on the words Jesus spoke against the Pharisees, and check myself against those deeds instead.

Calling of the First Disciples -Luke 5:1-12

There has been more than one week since my last entry of this study. On one hand it's been a busy week; on the other hand, I got stuck at the Simon Peter's story for a long time.

What has been puzzling me is Simon's reaction to Jesus, after they've got the 'catch of their lives.' He fell at Jesus' feet and said, "Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!"

Why? Why this reaction? Yes I can understand he would be surprised and awed and shocked. But why proclaiming his sinfulness and asking Jesus to leave him alone right away? I still can't get it.

By the way, though I don't understand why Jesus 'gave' them this full load of fish (as 'rent' of their boat for the teaching? as a mean to get Simon and his team's attention to 'recruit' them as his disciples?), I still think it's very thoughtful of him to leave this big catch to the disciples' family so they can have enough supply before working out their plan to cover for the 'lost' of the bread earners in their house.

Jesus in Galilee - Luke 4:31-44

I noted that Jesus has done 4 things when he was in Galilee.

First he taught at the synagogues. As mentioned in v43, I think it's Jesus' main mission i.e. to preach the good news of God's kingdom. Not like us, Jesus never forget what he came on earth for. He knew where he needed to go. He might slow down for awhile because he had compassion on people around him, but he has never lost sight of where he wanted to go.

But along the way, he also drove out demons. From people's reaction and amazement to Jesus' ability to order the demon to leave the possessed person, it's obvious that no other but Jesus has such authority. Sometimes we may forget that many of the things we take for granted nowadays are indeed gift from Jesus, and they were not known or unheard of before Jesus made them available to us. Calling God our Abba, Father, is one, and the other is this authority to drive out demon.

Moved by compassion, Jesus also healed many as he taught. Like the temptation posted by the devil in the wilderness, the ability to heal and drive out demons has easily attracted a large crowd for Jesus. But this is not what he came here for and it's not the way he'd save the world. He's clear about it so he moved on, refusing people's request for him to stay.

I like this line in v42, "At daybreak Jesus went out to a solitary place." No more details were given but it's quite clear that Jesus went out, trying to pray, to spend time with our Heavenly Father. This is so important to him and we can read about his prayer through out the Gospels. It should be as important to me as well.

When was the last time I went out to a solitary place to pray? ... I thank God. At least I can have this quiet moment to read the bible and put down my thought here. Pray that I can continue doing so even after the maternity leave.

Jesus Rejected at Nazareth - Luke 4:14-30 (Part 2)

I have been thinking about this passage again in the past few days.

Before Jesus was rejected at Nazareth, he has been teaching in other towns in Galilee, as mentioned in v14-15. And people in those other towns all sang praise of him and were impressed by his teaching. Though it was the case, we always considered his reading of the passage from the book of Isaiah in Nazareth the 'official announcement/ beginning' of his ministry. I wonder why.

And when I think again what Jesus told his old neighbors in Nazareth, about how a prophet would never be received in his home town, I think not only about the people in Nazareth at that time but Israel as a whole, when they put Jesus on the cross.

Jesus Rejected at Nazareth - Luke 4:14-30

I have been pondering on this passage for the past few days. I tried to imagine how it all took place when Jesus was in the synagogue, with His bible reading, teaching and all these conversations.

I tried to imagine a 'matter of fact' Jesus - He was not proud nor timid, not flamboyant nor tame. I can't find the right words in English but in Chinese He's probably 不卑不亢 .

I think it works up to the part of his reading the scripture. But frankly, as he continued and started talking about Elijah and Elisha, the 不卑不亢 look is really quite a bit difficult to fit in with his statement! I think his words, while true, are really quite 寸 . I can totally understand why his old neighbors got mad at him after hearing his words.

But Jesus is not supposed to be 寸 , right? I can accept that Jesus is not as tame as we were told in Sunday School. But still, he's not supposed to be 寸 . Then how should I make sense out of this passage? What Jesus is like from this passage? What a person he is as I read from this passage? Or how does this passage fit in the description of Jesus in the bible as a whole?

I have not got the answer yet. I guess I need to keep reading and come back to this point later.