today is good, good with God

Today is good.

The day was started with "seeking God's heart". I just pray to understand God's heart. Just sit there, praying, waiting, just try to feel God's heart for me, for people around me.

The first very strong feeling is that God loves Wes's Dad very much. And He also loves Wes's Mom very much. Yes He loves us, very, very much. And with all those ups and downs that we've been through, He has been there with us all along. And, it's difficult to explain or for me to understand, but it's exactly because He loves us so much that there are so many ups and downs that we've been thru. No matter what, I just know that He loves Dad, very, very much.

And the second thing is, that He has got great plan for us! For me and Wesley. Yes, He loves us very much too and have great plan for us. great plan. He is preparing us for something big.

What I have also done was to meditate on His love. Yes for the past few weeks I have been having such difficulty in feeling God's love for me. But today, I just try to put myself back to those time that I would simply smile to myself on a bus, on the road, because of the love I felt from God. Those was such wonderful time. I can't say I am totally back to that stage now. But I know what I am looking for, and I am clearly reminded that what I have been missing. And I know I haven't been grateful, that's why I have been so miserable lately. You know, when you are grateful and can see God's gift and grace in all things, then you'd have that sweet smile all the time. Yes, I haven't counted my blessings for too long and now is the time to do that again, so I can once again be immersed in the love of God.

I have also "practiced" 禱讀 today with 2 verses. 禱讀 is really, really good. I can really feel how God's words nurture my spirit through practicing it. Can you imagine? Even a simple phrase of 神的兒女 from 1John 3:1 is enough for me to go over again and again.

你看父賜給我們是何等的慈愛，使我們得稱為神的兒女；我們也真是他的兒女。
約一 3:1

Yes we have heard this term so many many times. But this is the first time I really really try to let it sinks in, deeply to my heart, what it means for us to be God's sons and daughters. How deep His love is. How unnecessary for Him to do so. How special this identity is. And how much it means for us to be REALLY, really, God's children.

And I again go back to the verse we practiced on Sunday:

你們需用的這一切東西，你們的天父是知道的。你們要先求他的國和他的義，這些東西都要加給你們了。
太 6:32-33

Just gain so much strength and peace from this verse. Yes, nothing to worry at all.

I also prayed about my passion, what God's plan for me, and what to do at work. I haven't really got the answer yet. But when I look back, I think the greatest thing I feel at work is that it is a platform and it opens the doors to many people's lives. I get to know and establish relationship with others through work. I get to really know them and like them, and love them as God's love for them flows into my heart. And if the time is right may be we can share many more things than just work, but life itself. And it's really the most fulfilling thing to me, when I can touch on other people's lives.

And then this line from the hymn came to my mind:

日日服侍主我心歡喜

Yes, suddenly this joy came to my heart, feeling so happy for work. Just imagine all the work I have done or I am to do is to serve my Lord! Isn't it wonderful? Yes, serving others just as if I'm serving my Lord. wholeheartedly.

But in addition to that, is there something else? Something more closely related to my passion or destiny? I suspect so. Just that I still haven't found out yet. Need to continue to pray and wait on my Lord.

The other thing I have also prayed about is our family and baby. I asked God if it's something that He has in mind for me. Again, no answer. Will just need to continue to seek and pray.

And reading "Day by Day" again, I also tried to meditate to see what God is telling me through his activities around me. I can clearly say that He is using Vision a lot, every one there. And I think it's the first time I truly appreciate how each and every one of them at Vision has been "taking up their own cross" to follow Jesus. I just tried to put myself into each of their own shoes... and it's really tough. But then they have decided to follow Jesus! So they're going to live this abundant life in Him.

It's also true with Helen, when she shared about her latest battle/ struggle for next year's business plan and the value she got from God and tried to put in... it's not easy for her, either. But then, she has decided to press on, any way.

How about me? Then I read this verse:

還有那撒在荊棘裡的，就是人聽了道，後來有世上的思慮、錢財的迷惑，和別樣的私慾進來，把道擠住了，就不能結實。
可 4:18-1

I can feel that 荊棘 in my life: my worry over my family, my work, how people see me, approval from the world... these are stopping me to grow towards God. So I made a prayer and in Jesus' name, I ordered all these 荊棘 to leave my heart and leave my life. So my heart will become "good soil" to let God's words grow and bear much fruit.

Then I have finished reading the whole book of Mark once. This time, I am most amazed by the many healing Jesus has done in his days. Yes, lots and lots of miraculous healing. I wanna bring the bible to read to Dad tonight. It says something to me.