Baby

I have been taking a “if it happens it happens” approach for quite a while. But deep down, I know I have been having some worry – worry that I would worry more about earthly things, about income, about expenses, about the baby... more than my relationship with God. And I also feel that it may not be the right timing, feeling there is so much thing to do.

But Wesley has been feeling quite strongly about it recently. Not only about having a baby but about our family, not just the two of us, walking in God's way.

As I've got no particular answer to this subject on Thursday, I just prayed about it today, this morning.

It was a very short prayer session, but I felt so strongly the presence of our Lord. Yes, I enjoyed it so much. Felt like I've physically opened the window of my heart and the love from God just flew in, and in.

And then suddenly this question came into my mind: do you really want a baby? And I asked my heart this question, and the answer was YES. Yes, though I have been trying not to fix a time for it or do particular thing for it or to actively pray for it or even sometime didn't want to think about it or even worried about it, deep down, after all, I still feel that it's a blessing from God. Life is such a beautiful thing in Him. And yes, my Lord, if it's your will, please let us have a baby.

But I also pray, my Lord, that this baby must only bring us closer to You, not further. And the baby must make us understand your love more, not less.