Dad

Tonight Wesley has meeting again so I went back to my parents' home to have dinner.

Got a chance to chit chat with my sister and brother-in-law after dinner. We don't usually have opportunity to talk too much when their little girl is around. Tonight she is not feeling well so my Mom took her upstairs earlier than usual. And my Dad was not at home tonight as he has some friends visiting from China.

Thank you Lord to give us a chance to talk. Though I must say, the chat has left a heavy load in my heart.

They told me how Dad has been coughing quite badly recently. But more importantly, how he was reluctant to go for check up or let them take a closer examination of him. Because they know, and he knows, too, the main reason for it is smoking. He already knew how smoking has been damaging his lungs since he went for X-ray few years back, when he had another bad cough then. He also tried to quit then, for a month? And then he picked it up again. Frankly these I have known for a long time. What I didn't know before and what scared me most was that, they told me Dad has mentioned suicide not long ago - that if his health took a really bad turn, he'd prefer to take his own life away.

This really scares me. I have never, ever, thought that Dad would have such thought in his mind. It's just very scary to hear it from your own parent, even if only indirectly. And from what I understood from Tak & Robert, he has mentioned it at least twice in different occasions. So he was not "drunk" or just talking non-sense but this thought really is in his mind.

I must say, after hearing this, I am more worried about his heart and spirit more than for his lungs. Oh, how tightly he was bound by smoking. How tightly he was bound by the worldly things. We all agreed, it's not that Dad didn't know about Jesus. He just doesn't want to give up what he likes (the earthly things) to choose God's way. His heart is hard.

Oh Lord, oh Lord. I pray to you to have mercy on my Dad. I know nothing we can do to change his mind. The only thing we can do is to pray for him, to pray that your Holy Spirit will continue to work in him and soften his heart. So that one day, soon, not too late, he would come to his senses and accept you into his heart and his life. So that not only he can find freedom (not to smoke) and health in you, but most importantly he can find YOU, the true saviour the true life. Lord, may I pray and pray and pray for my Dad. Please have mercy on him. Lord, unto your hands his life I trust. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

I really love my Dad.