Love in Action - "The Brothers Karamazov"

I think every friend who know my husband Wesley or have read his blog would have heard about Fyodor Dostoyevsky, this Russian writer, and his book "The Brothers Karamazov". This book means a lot to Wesley's and has influenced him greatly.

Since I got to know Wesley 10+ years ago he started to invite me to read this book. It never happened as I never found the interest to pick up this 700+ pages novel, with tiny words filling up each page.

Our Lord has set time for every thing. I don't know why but before I went to my Melbourne trip this time, I was suddenly interested in this book and packed it to my luggage.

And once I got started, I am really attracted to it - I know this book has profound impact on how Wesley sees faith and God and religion, but I have not expected that actually the whole book IS indeed about God our Lord!

So far I have only read 100+ pages, but it's such a good read. It's a really good book. And below is one paragraph which I find particularly insightful, in Chapter 4 of Book 2. I'd call it "Love in Action":

(A lady of Little Faith) “I suffer …from lack of faith.”

(A Father, an elder in Church) “Lack of faith in God?”

...

(Lady) “... You see, I shut my eyes and ask myself if every one has faith, where did it come from? ... How, how is one to prove it? ... How can I prove it? How can I convince myself? ...”

(Father) “No doubt. But there’s no proving it, though you can be convinced of it.”

(Lady) “How?”

(Father) "By the experience of active love. Strive to love your neighbour actively and indefatigably. In as far as you advance in love you will grow surer of the reality of God and of the immortality of your soul. If you attain to perfect self-forgetfulness in the love of your neighbour, then you will believe without doubt, and no doubt can possibly enter your soul. This has been tried. This is certain.”

Will certainly go on reading.

Trip to Melbourne with parents

Just finished a 1 week holiday in Melbourne with my parents. So happy! I have longed for such a holiday for a long, long time. Since the birth of my niece 3 years ago, my parents' travel interest has understandably dropped significantly. Until this time, I worked very hard to persuade them to make this trip - probably my last long trip before my own baby is born.

I really enjoyed this week very much. In fact, I enjoy it very much every time when traveling with my parents since I have grown up. It's not just for being 孝順 but I really do have fun spending time with them. And there's always a special feeling when it's just me alone traveling with them - feel like I'm the only child! In the past I wanted to have such a trip with them every year. Seeing the change of circumstances, I would be v happy if we can make such a trip once every 2 years. May be next time with Wesley also, or even with Tak's family, too!

My dad is always a funny person, and he's still naughty at 62 yo - you can tell by the picture how he jumped up and down of the road side pillars next to the Great Ocean Road arch! Mom is not as naughty - but the chemistry between her and dad is so amazing. It's so fun to look at them to tease each other for "oyster allocation" at meal, or how or who are to pack the luggage. They are just so much fun to be with.









We've spent about a week in and around Melbourne this time - the city, Penguin Parade, Dandenong, Yarra Valley, Great Ocean Road... actually I've been to most places when visiting Melbourne with Wesley few years ago. But it's not the places that I'm going after this time - it's the sweet and relaxing time I gotta travel with my parents that I've been looking forward to. And I'm most happy to see the satisfied smiles on my parents face. I love to see them relax and enjoy - the scenery, the food, the ride, the relaxing time away from home.

And I'm so thankful to Jesus for making it such a special trip! First thing is about mom - she's so "hardworking" she read bible every day during the trip! I really thank and praise our Lord for the seriousness she took in making the decision to accept Jesus Christ into her life. As for father, I was also glad he agreed to join mom and I at church service on Sunday, right before we flied out of Melbourne. And through out the trip he has made many remarks on how he saw God has led his way and our way - from which motel to stay to all the key turning points during his youth. Yes, God indeed loves him so much! And the fact that we gotta pray together before every meal is also an encouragement to me - that Jesus is with us still, even when we are far and away from home.

One night I remember particularly clearly - we stayed at Apollo Bay along the Great Ocean Road that night. It had already started raining that evening. But in the middle of the night, it started raining very heavily and the sound of the wind and rain was pretty scary. I was awaken from sleep. Hearing the sound of the waves from afar and the wind and rain blowing ahead, I was a bit worried - though we have rented a 4WD this time it still felt unsafe to drive in such weather tomorrow, along the coast line! And it's so funny as I was reminded about this part in bible where the disciples were crossing the sea with Jesus, and it was also a very stormy weather. They were very frightened so they woke up Jesus and told him that they were about to die from the storm. I remember how I used to sneeze at them: how little faith and stupid they are! Why would they still feel feared as they're already with Jesus? But this night I felt differently. I felt this fear from bottom of my heart - the fear of the wholesome power of nature, or our Lord, demonstrated by nature, the the wind and rain and storm and wave around me. Suddenly I felt that I could feel the fear in the disciples' hearts. Then I prayed to the Lord, not only for better weather the day after, but also peace in my heart, and also confess the pride I had before.

And our Lord is so faithful! The next day we got a very fine weather to continue our journey on Great Ocean Road.

Prayer Partner

Gela shared exactly the same thought that I had in her post!

Jesus is so wonderful! He has done such similar things in our lives!

I really need to confess and repent for that "laziness" to start our prayer partner life, though God has reminded me for a few times. But it's so wonderful once we got started! What can I say?! We human being are just so stupid that though God has prepared great gift for us all along, we just keep delaying in claiming or receiving that great gift from Him! It's true for Christians or non-Christians alike. We really need to tackle our own fleshy mind and laziness better!

Just need to pray to God that we'll keep it up. Such blessings! Thanks Lord!

Sharing at CCF Today

Praise our Lord! Thank Him so much for giving me this chance to share the wonderful things He has done in our lives in the past 2 years at CCF today. Well, basically it's the sharing from my 2006 Review - part 2.

I just want to say thanks to our Lord once again, for I truly know He was there with us.

I remember how the Holy Spirit has given me this prayer to end that sharing session:

Lord, we thank you, for what we have prayed for that you have given us, and not given us.

Yes, Lord. Indeed. May your will be done. Amen.

2006 Review - Part 1

It's interesting that I have started to do a mental "annual review" as early as November 2006 this year.

This is a really fruitful year. And I think I can say that from nearly all aspects in my life, I have seen growth, development, improvement, enrichment, and enhancement:

Spiritually

- The "Cleansing Stream Course" was such a blessing! It's hard to believe that Wesley and I just attended this course in 1Q 2006! We have learned so much and grown so much and been healed so much from the teaching and truth of this course. And there's such sweet sweet feeling with my Lord, building up during the term of the course that I really treasure.
- It's also great for me to take part in the "Cleansing Stream Course" again in the Autumn season as a helper. It's great to grow and to be able to help others experience the same great things from this course from our Lord.
- Also not to forget is of course our trip to Kaohsiung to attend the Agape Conference. As Claudia said, it's really like in a "spiritual spa" and get soaked up in the sweetness in our Lord in those few days.
- And there was so much more, e.g. the Alpha courses. It's certainly a big change from the "spiritual drought" I experienced in the 2nd half of 2005.

Professionally

- There has been such big change at work! In 2005 I just started in this new post in Marketing department. I didn't do well in 2005 - feeling lost, feeling bad, feeling feared. There can be no other reason but that God has changed me: 2006 was such a different year and I became such a different person at work! Courage and wisdom God bestow to me, and that confidence and "at ease" came back to me when dealing with all sorts of challenges at work.
- 2006 was indeed a challenging year, and a very important one for me too.
- The biggest thing for me and my team is definitely the activities around the 60th Anniversary. Through the work on the Skyshow, I did not only experience the fulfillment and the passion for work. But more importantly, I know I can bless other people's life through my work! through my paid job! through my vocation! I did not know why but I still remember clearly, the first thing I did when I went to Festival Walk the venue of our first Skyshow to do site inspection, I was not doing anything first but to walk around the place and pray - I pray that God will bless these many people who were then working on the display. I pray that God would bless all those people who would come to see this Skyshow. I pray that God would bless the many many colleagues, business partners, or people that I work with through this project. How it is to be done, I don't know! I could only thank the Holy Spirit for putting such thought in my heart and moved me to pray so. And I have such faith that God has indeed blessed us so.
- Even stronger the feeling came from the work on the 60th Anniversary Gala Party. By any sense it is still a big big big project. Indeed it was bigger than any project I have undertaken before. Again, I did not know how but starting quite early in the project I have already prayed to our Lord: oh Lord, make this a party that would glorify you. Oh Lord, make this a party that would glorify you. Even now, I still don't know how an anniversary party of a commercial, non-Christian company is related to the glory of our Lord. But somehow, it was the sacrifice I brought to my Lord, to dedicate this whole party to Him and him alone. This is my worship, the worship from my whole life: my mind, body and soul, my every waking moment and also the sleeping moment. And it's such a great great great experience to live in FULL, in HIM, at WORK! It's something I long for and I seek to relive that kind of life, i.e. to live in Jesus in Full every day every moment, again, for the rest of my life.
- One thing that's related is that CX has acquired KA this year, and it's a big thing for the company, even bigger than 60th Anniversary celebration or the launch of our new product. I think the important and the encouraging thing is that God has put down this vision of "40 Days of Prayer for the Company" in my heart for this announcement, and how the Holy Spirit has really made it happened, and how encouraging it is to have about 30 brothers and sisters committed to join this prayer action to uplift our company to Jesus Christ in that important period.

Wesley & I

- We have been together for so long and our relationship is so stable (in the good sense), especially after Wesley has also accepted Jesus Christ to his life about a year ago, I didn't think there could be anything else that happened. Obviously, I was wrong!
- It was really a shock when I first received that "Confession" email from Wesley. But I really praise our Lord, PRAISE OUR LORD! For He has prepared more love even for case like this! And I'm so grateful, so grateful, that we came out to know each other more, and to love each other even more. It's so great to grow and walk our lives, together.

Friends

- The one I must mention is Angela. I am just so, so, so happy for her! I think 2006 may mean even more to her for all those things happened in her life. And seeing the changes in her, it felt like it's happening in my own life, too! Can't really express how happy I am. Can only end with "Praise our Lord" again!


Family

- I still think I haven't done enough with and for my family. I'm glad that at least I've written my parents a letter to express my love, but still, it's too small a step - I haven't even written the second letter yet! I do hope that in 2007 we'll have some more chance to spend time together. More importantly, I do hope that they would finally get to know Jesus Christ and invite HIM to be their own personal saviour.
- On the other hand, I really thank God for my parents-in-law. It was not easy time for the past 2 years for us. It was hard for us to go through Wes' Dad's stroke and all the recovery process in 2005, but it was even more challenging when complications arisen again this year, and that an originally simple operation (that's what we thought) would turn out to be another 4 months in and out of hospital, and that Wes' Dad's ability to eat, to talk or to walk was further weakened. We don't know why and we may never know, we can only continue to learn to look up to and rely on Jesus Christ our Lord our God.

It really was a fruitful year, and I keep counting and keep counting and keep counting our blessings - our Lord really loves me! And He has given us so much! I'm most grateful.

If there is anything missing, it would be it.

When it was November 2006, I had this quiet whisper to my Lord - it's not even a "formal prayer", it's just my whisper: "Oh my Lord, if you would give our family a baby too in 2006, then it's really too amazing and 2006 would be such a very special year, with all the things already took place... ...".

For in the past 20 months, we have been trying but I just didn't conceive.