Dad

Tonight Wesley has meeting again so I went back to my parents' home to have dinner.

Got a chance to chit chat with my sister and brother-in-law after dinner. We don't usually have opportunity to talk too much when their little girl is around. Tonight she is not feeling well so my Mom took her upstairs earlier than usual. And my Dad was not at home tonight as he has some friends visiting from China.

Thank you Lord to give us a chance to talk. Though I must say, the chat has left a heavy load in my heart.

They told me how Dad has been coughing quite badly recently. But more importantly, how he was reluctant to go for check up or let them take a closer examination of him. Because they know, and he knows, too, the main reason for it is smoking. He already knew how smoking has been damaging his lungs since he went for X-ray few years back, when he had another bad cough then. He also tried to quit then, for a month? And then he picked it up again. Frankly these I have known for a long time. What I didn't know before and what scared me most was that, they told me Dad has mentioned suicide not long ago - that if his health took a really bad turn, he'd prefer to take his own life away.

This really scares me. I have never, ever, thought that Dad would have such thought in his mind. It's just very scary to hear it from your own parent, even if only indirectly. And from what I understood from Tak & Robert, he has mentioned it at least twice in different occasions. So he was not "drunk" or just talking non-sense but this thought really is in his mind.

I must say, after hearing this, I am more worried about his heart and spirit more than for his lungs. Oh, how tightly he was bound by smoking. How tightly he was bound by the worldly things. We all agreed, it's not that Dad didn't know about Jesus. He just doesn't want to give up what he likes (the earthly things) to choose God's way. His heart is hard.

Oh Lord, oh Lord. I pray to you to have mercy on my Dad. I know nothing we can do to change his mind. The only thing we can do is to pray for him, to pray that your Holy Spirit will continue to work in him and soften his heart. So that one day, soon, not too late, he would come to his senses and accept you into his heart and his life. So that not only he can find freedom (not to smoke) and health in you, but most importantly he can find YOU, the true saviour the true life. Lord, may I pray and pray and pray for my Dad. Please have mercy on him. Lord, unto your hands his life I trust. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

I really love my Dad.

Trip to Melbourne with parents

Just finished a 1 week holiday in Melbourne with my parents. So happy! I have longed for such a holiday for a long, long time. Since the birth of my niece 3 years ago, my parents' travel interest has understandably dropped significantly. Until this time, I worked very hard to persuade them to make this trip - probably my last long trip before my own baby is born.

I really enjoyed this week very much. In fact, I enjoy it very much every time when traveling with my parents since I have grown up. It's not just for being 孝順 but I really do have fun spending time with them. And there's always a special feeling when it's just me alone traveling with them - feel like I'm the only child! In the past I wanted to have such a trip with them every year. Seeing the change of circumstances, I would be v happy if we can make such a trip once every 2 years. May be next time with Wesley also, or even with Tak's family, too!

My dad is always a funny person, and he's still naughty at 62 yo - you can tell by the picture how he jumped up and down of the road side pillars next to the Great Ocean Road arch! Mom is not as naughty - but the chemistry between her and dad is so amazing. It's so fun to look at them to tease each other for "oyster allocation" at meal, or how or who are to pack the luggage. They are just so much fun to be with.









We've spent about a week in and around Melbourne this time - the city, Penguin Parade, Dandenong, Yarra Valley, Great Ocean Road... actually I've been to most places when visiting Melbourne with Wesley few years ago. But it's not the places that I'm going after this time - it's the sweet and relaxing time I gotta travel with my parents that I've been looking forward to. And I'm most happy to see the satisfied smiles on my parents face. I love to see them relax and enjoy - the scenery, the food, the ride, the relaxing time away from home.

And I'm so thankful to Jesus for making it such a special trip! First thing is about mom - she's so "hardworking" she read bible every day during the trip! I really thank and praise our Lord for the seriousness she took in making the decision to accept Jesus Christ into her life. As for father, I was also glad he agreed to join mom and I at church service on Sunday, right before we flied out of Melbourne. And through out the trip he has made many remarks on how he saw God has led his way and our way - from which motel to stay to all the key turning points during his youth. Yes, God indeed loves him so much! And the fact that we gotta pray together before every meal is also an encouragement to me - that Jesus is with us still, even when we are far and away from home.

One night I remember particularly clearly - we stayed at Apollo Bay along the Great Ocean Road that night. It had already started raining that evening. But in the middle of the night, it started raining very heavily and the sound of the wind and rain was pretty scary. I was awaken from sleep. Hearing the sound of the waves from afar and the wind and rain blowing ahead, I was a bit worried - though we have rented a 4WD this time it still felt unsafe to drive in such weather tomorrow, along the coast line! And it's so funny as I was reminded about this part in bible where the disciples were crossing the sea with Jesus, and it was also a very stormy weather. They were very frightened so they woke up Jesus and told him that they were about to die from the storm. I remember how I used to sneeze at them: how little faith and stupid they are! Why would they still feel feared as they're already with Jesus? But this night I felt differently. I felt this fear from bottom of my heart - the fear of the wholesome power of nature, or our Lord, demonstrated by nature, the the wind and rain and storm and wave around me. Suddenly I felt that I could feel the fear in the disciples' hearts. Then I prayed to the Lord, not only for better weather the day after, but also peace in my heart, and also confess the pride I had before.

And our Lord is so faithful! The next day we got a very fine weather to continue our journey on Great Ocean Road.

給爸媽的信 - 1

爸爸，媽媽：

收到這封信，會否覺得很奇怪？「阿恩為何無端端寫信回來？〈D 字仲咁整齊添！〉是不是有甚麼特別事？不開心？」

說起來你可能不相信，不過真的沒有甚麼特別事，不過最近有幾件小事「挑起條筋」，於是很想寫封信給你們。

第一個原因是一封「學院通訊」。Wesley 和我工餘會一起出去上聖經班，這封信就是我們的老師寫的。不知我是否太「感情用事」，或是太欣賞這位老師了，我覺得他這封信很有「家書」的味道：既親切，又貼心，還有很好的提醒。我也把他的信附上，讓你們「品評品評」。

其次呢，我覺得我們真的好久沒有好好「傾偈」了。其實我是很喜歡深入結交朋友的，我喜歡真去了解別人是怎麼樣，怎麼想的呢？生活中生命中，有甚麼高興或困擾的事情呢？人生的意義，對對方而言，是甚麼呢....？諸如此類，heavy duty 的 questions。對於「吹水唔抹咀」式的 social activities 或是朋友，我是比較難投入的。對自己愛的人，自然希望了解更多。不過，每個星期回來都實在來去怱怱，都不知從何說起。所以，雖然每星期都見，還是覺得很久沒有溝通的感覺。

第三件事呢，是近來聽的一節聖經課。相信你們都知道聖經中記載神親自頒布「十誡」，而其中一條就是「要孝敬父母，使你在耶和華你的神賜給你的地上得享長 壽。」原來在原文中，「孝敬」這個字的字根與「重」，heavy，有關，大概就是「使之...重要」的意思。我從沒有想過自己不孝敬父母：你們這麼好，我們感情又好，我又「乖」，怎會不孝敬？不過神就在我心內提醒，其實，我真的不能算得上「孝敬父母」，至少在主的眼裡算不上。上星期回來，停留了差不多一句半鐘，吃了飯便走了。我問，一星期有多少分鐘呢？一萬多分鐘。原來我回家與你們共聚的時間，連 1% 也不到，那算怎麼「敬重」呢？

不知道你們又怎麼想呢？或者下次回家時也可說說。也請你們原諒我吧！在主裡我要認真地孝敬你們，認真地，用主的愛愛你們，更多！

多謝神在心裡的催逼，今天又有時間「滴」起心肝寫這封信。希望以後，久不久，還會再寫吧！你們的回信，更是無任歡迎。我真是十分十分喜歡收信的呢！

如果有感動，你們也可與阿德 & Robert 分享這封信。

最後，希望我們 12 月真的能夠一起去旅行啦！縱然是去澳門或珠海，縱然只是短短數天，我是很珍惜我們一家人一起共聚的時刻，可以見多幾面，不用來去怱怱！

祝

繼續健康快樂
早日認識主耶穌！

女兒
阿恩敬上
2006 年 11 月 13 日