Loving you as you

Dear Sum Sum, Dear Lok Lok,

Recently in two separate incidents, mama came across once again this reminder to 'love a person as he/she is'.

The first incident was a bit remote. Actually it came out from the sharing in the couple group papa and mama attended at church. When many couples mentioned how they dealt with disagreement from between the partners, I noted that very often it's because of the different character each person has. I also discovered that when one would get really when he/she thinks the other picking on self on purpose. But very often than not, our partner wasn't picking on us. It's just a clash of characters. And when one chooses to think, 'Well, he's just like that. He's just being himself instead of acting against me on purpose,' then one is much less likely to get angry. At least it's true for me and how I react to papa, when I think he's putting on the poker face for me.

I want to share the above with you because I think this is a very important subject. For you to be able to get along well with your spouse, or even your children in future, you really need to love them as God love them, i.e. love them as who they really are, in God's eye. It's not really true love if you love the 'ideal spouse' in your mind but not in front of you. It's not true love if you just love the 'good kids' instead of the ones you hold in your arms who are sometimes obedient and sometimes who are not.

This is an important reminder for mama. Mama doesn't want to compare the two of you and to say who's good who's bad. This is comparatively easy to remember. But mama also needs to remind myself not to compare you with myself, or any 'ideals' in my mind. You are special. Each of you are special. God made you special and unique and He loves you the way you are. So mama would get to know you as who you are also. And to grow up with you. And to keep on getting to know you, to appreciate you, to support you, to help develop what you are good with, and to help tackle what you are not so good at.

The second incident was a chat with Auntie Tak Tak. Mama and Auntie Tak Tak are two very different persons. We are of very different characters and personalities. When we were young, I guess, we didn't know how to appreciate the difference that much. But I am really thankful that as Tak Tak shared with me the other day, that God has really let her know how special He has made her and how He loves her the way she is. I am so happy for Tak Tak, as this revelation is so important! As your Veggie Tales books said, 'God made me special and He loves me VERY MUCH!'

If the first incident is an important reminder for mama, then this second one is an important reminder for you, Sum Sum, Lok Lok. It's because if you don't or can't love yourself as God does, i.e. loving you as who you are, then you can't really love others or receive the love from others. The bible said, 'we love, because God first loved us.' How true is that. It includes not only our love for others but also love for ourselves too - an unselfish, Godly love, the right kind of love for oneself.

I pray that you'd learn this truth in your life. Mama is so pleased for Auntie Tak Tak for she has experienced this truth in her life. I hope the same for you as well, my beloved daughter and son.

Love,
Mama.